Grateful and Blessed (part 2)

Why bad things happen to good people

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” … The Apostle Paul, a letter to the romans

If there is a scripture I dislike in the book, this would be it… not so much for what it says but how people use it. Thinking it will be some profound explanation of ones circumstances, it it shared in the greatest of love, yet the epitome of ignorance. Delivered with emphatic utterance and divine surety , everything is gonna be all right, when clearly it is not; at least not at the moment. It is shared in waiting rooms, following horrible accidents, at deathbeds, and in the midst of us living out the story of a man named Job. It is offered out of context to explain all the things we are not meant to understand. Paul also says, shall the pot say of the potter? and it poses a seemingly valid question challenging the byline here, “Why do bad things happen to good people” … Do I have the right to question God? the answer is yes. Is He under any obligation to answer me, the answer is No! The whole Yes/No/Wait doctrine is a complete human fabrication… He owes me nothing. He alone is God. Sometimes He is silent for days, week, months or years.

In the greatest chess game ever played the man Job lost it all. One by one while the first was yet speaking, he experienced a Satanic Blitz that cost him everything. Go read that book of your bible and lets talk about your little problem. In the light of this one mans troubles, ours pale in comparison. Job lost his friends, His influence, His property, His wealth… His wife told him to curse God and die. Yet in all this, Job sinned not nor charged God foolishly.

Obviously, I do not know the reason… but my premise here is all these things were written for our admonition. Job was an example to us, to all who would read of his sufferings, of the faithfulness of God. For Ro 8:28 to mean anything to us, I hold it must be considered at the end of your journey not as you are going through it.

For those who have not read part one, let me recap… an infection in my body spiked my PSA # to 44. As it came back down and the infection was gone, it hovered at 10. They did a biopsy, and I won the prize… Cancer. While he was yet speaking, and me being a “one percenter”, I got an infection from it that turned into necrotizing fasciitis, sort of gangrene on steroids. Emergency surgery, 2 surgeons 4 days in surgical ICU, and a 7” wound in my groin left open to heal over the next 2-3 months. It put me out of commission at a time I could nary afford to be sidelined. Never even asked my permission to do so!

WHY GOD? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? GOD WHERE ARE YOU??? Job searched and couldn’t find him either.

Having come through this on the right side of the dirt, I want to share a few things that happened in me and to me which would never, and I mean NEVER have happened any other way. Perhaps it will help you, maybe not. First and foremost, DO NOT QUOTE ROMANS 8:28 TO SOMEONE GOING THROUGH THE WORST TRIAL OF THEIR LIFE… also delete the comment, Everything happens for a reason. Let them come to an understanding as the storm blows over. Just Saying…

I came face to face with death. I told my wife I was going to die, I was sure of it. waking up in recovery, I was glad to be wrong! But it changed me, it hit the reboot on my main-frame and caused me to weigh out who I am, my purpose, mistakes, my life, relationships, values… even my faith. To date God has not answered my “Why” question. Like Job, though I do not perceive Him, He knows the way I take, and the steps of a good man are still ordered by the Lord. God owes me nothing, but he graciously used all this to give me the opportunity to begin again.

We all want to go to heaven, just not tonight! Facing our own mortality in an auto wreck, a disease laden body, or through some unforeseen circumstance that suddenly makes time stand still and and the train of your expectations derail; kicking and screaming we come face to face with a God moment. A crossroads in our lives where decisions are going to need to be made. Big ones!

Priorities… I see things different. Relationships are far more important than things. I’m 66 years old, If I haven’t arrived yet I’m not going to. Stop chasing success and concentrate on contentment. Seek peace not profit. Love, not Money. invest in people not things. My son once told me “Dad, you’re and Ox, all you do is work, go do something you enjoy. He was right. What is it I want to trade the rest of my days for. This is not a flash in the pan answer, it’s gonna take a lot of thinking. For years I have said Pastoring is the loneliest job on earth. Am I now ready to address why I have so few friends? Will I let the bitterness of old wounds destroy the rest of my days, exiling me to the place of aloneness I fear the most? Oh how I nursed those scars, some from my closest confidants, my besties… Here, join me in my pain, you have no idea how bad I have it! Who wants that as a Friend? I must be miserable to be around. I never would have seen these things if bad things didn’t happen to good people.

Forgiveness… There is a great parable in the bible which shows us this priceless truth. (Mt 18:23) If we will not forgive, we will not be forgiven, previous forgiveness can and will be recalled tossing us into a prison of bitterness, not the offender. Doesn’t seem fair, but oh!…it is sooo true. I had an extended family member who put a great gulf between us that was never going to close. They hurt one of my children in ways they may never understand and sowed strife among the family so thick I didn’t want reconciliation. Borderline hatred looking back. Bile in my throat at just the thought of them. I could not and would not forgive. I was justified!… Wrong, So Wrong! As they were prepping me for surgery this person had gone shopping and brought us everything we would need for the long haul hospital stay. There was a come to Jesus moment where words failed, and forgiveness flowed… just enough for both of us to realize we had been wrong. It wasn’t an end all, but it was something we could build on and I treasure the chance to do that. Never would have taken place if bad things didn’t happen to good people.

Understanding… With all thy getting, get understanding (Prvb 4:7) we have all had lightbulb moments where we go, ahaa, now I understand! Necrotizing Fasciitis is a pretty rare infection. It captured the interest of the head of infectious disease there at the Hospital. We started of on the wrong foot when he asked me why I was taking Fenbendazole, a dog de-wormer for cancer. He said “That’s all conspiracy Stuff! I asked if He had read the John Hopkins and Harvard Medical Studies on the subject. Shots fired! Let the battle begin. We rattled sabers for a couple minutes and then his countenance changed and he took a seat. The tone and demeaner of our convo came back from the edge. He began to tell me about his experience during covid.

Full disclosure; I believe Covid was a set up, a reincarnation of the 1917 bird flu used to introduce the bioweapon “Vaccine”. I watched these people kill my friends and profit from their protocol of death. They were the enemy. I was fired from Raytheon for refusing the vax, and their mask, along with issuing religious exemptions as a pastor for anyone that needed one. The 1st Amendment and cause of liberty was on my side! Nonetheless I was unemployed

Yet the man sitting across from me was clearly no monster, he was an educated and dedicated individual who went through covid in a unique and troubling way. The emotion in his voice as he began to talk ruled the room. He didn’t leave the hospital for 4 months when the China Virus hit. There were people dying left and right. He talked of the vents and how they didn’t work, leaving 50% of those on them a statistic. He took them out of the protocol. Remdesivir was a trainwreck, and they quit using it. They were searching everywhere for something that worked. I brought up HCQ and Ivermectin, to which he said they don’t work, its been debunked by studies from University of Minnesota… and when I asked who funded the studies, it was clear he didn’t think of that.

We both came away a lot farther down the road to understanding one another. The next day a physician under his oversite stopped me in the hall and said, “I read the reports last night, you are on to something with the Fenbendazole. Open and honest discussion had made us think, caused us both to consider another point of view. We can never understand if we do not communicate. That one conversation really helped me, but it never would have happened if bad things didn’t happen to good people.

What I learned that day has benefitted me in ways I cannot tally. My wife once told me, why should I talk, you never listen! She didn’t need someone to figure it out and solve everything, she just needed to talk. I think that’s great protocol for us all at this point.

The Importance of Today… the greatest plans never acted on are but vain desires never embraced. Coulda, shoulda, and woulda is all water under the bridge. Ones destiny grows out of what did I do with today? Time is the great commodity we all share. It levels the playing field bringing every mountain down and every valley up. We all have the same amount of time, until you don’t. Until they say “Cancer”, Heart Surgery, or inoperable tumor, or until they call hospice. I suggest to you the key component to anyone’s measure of Life has to be relationships. Its not the new Tesla, or 3 level walk-out on the lake. Not the gated community or membership at the club. Its not a bank account, 401k, or pension plan.

It’s the heart of your children held close to yours. Its the wife of 30 years who knows you better than you do. It’s the best man at your wedding who remains a real friend 40 years later. Its time spent in the unpretentious surroundings the people who have invested a lifetime of shared memories with us. Its the Church you helped build, and attended all your life. Its not the presents we give, but the presence we bring to a holiday table with the relatives. The good, the bad, the ugly… in spite of which we open the door wide because its family. The most important things are the intangibles…Faith, Hope, and Love. Am I engaged, did I show up today? Was I present in body only? Did I try to understand where someone was coming from, taking the time to listen? Or was I the most important one in the room? Did I add anything to another persons life? Offer to help? Did I turn the other cheek or go the extra mile. Visit the Widow and the Orphan?

Chances are I did what I had on my list, on my agenda, or most of it and called it a day, never once making a connection, or impact in anyone else life but my own.

I’m done being that guy. There has to be a deeper meaning and purpose for our day. “Hey, are you okay? no I mean really? everything ok?” or “Thanks for everything you do…it makes a difference” If our lives are to embrace deeper things, we have to ask the open ended questions and be ready for the convo which follows.

Tim McGraw sings a song that says “I hope that someday you get the chance… To live like you were dying” My goto song in this season of my life. This has been my attempt to say the same thing and share with you why bad things happen to good people.

Show up tomorrow and be the person you know you were meant to be, the person you want to be, and the one this world needs you to be.